i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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