margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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