billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
