This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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