Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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