Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
