I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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