I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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