omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love you. Go after that dick
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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