Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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