your parents love me but you hate me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
