If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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