If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
