That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
