His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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