dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
