was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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