my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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