Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
