hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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