Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
