I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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