just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
