Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
