i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize