whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
