Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
