Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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