Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
