ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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