i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
