i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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