Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
