mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
