I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
