What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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