bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
