I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
