Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
