drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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