come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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