Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You have to summon your inner elephant
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
