You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
