these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
