YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
