I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
