You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
