I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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