did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
