At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am naked and annoyed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
