i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
