I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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