Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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