do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
