I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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