At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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