After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
