I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
