So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
